His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
