Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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