I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
