turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
