This girl is more easily done than said...
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
