big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
