They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
