Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
