yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
