Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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