Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
