Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
