You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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