my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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