Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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