My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
