I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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