Say something about gay babies.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
