I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
