Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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