Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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