I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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