No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
