How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
