My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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