i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
My vagina just recognized that song.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize