return my video game
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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