Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
