Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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