dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
we made out on top of his cat.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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