ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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