I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I've blown a few things in my day
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
