we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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