There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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