Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
