no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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