he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
