Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
