his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
