Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
