Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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