tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
