I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
