wat bout pragnant strippers??
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
