I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
