have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
