she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
