Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i barfeds in our rink
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
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