It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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