the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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