So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
