I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
