Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
