I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
