Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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