Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize