i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
