I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize