it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Please, let me fuck your mom
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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