I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
