Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
