I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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