brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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