I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
