What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
