I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
