2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
