my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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