I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
