I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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