I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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