he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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