About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
