my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
