You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
